In Which I Rant About Monopoly

It happens to all of us. We’re sitting around the house with friends, when suddenly, one of the dimmer house guests says “Let’s play Monopoly!”

If things were just in the world, it would be legal to shoot them dead with malaria. Instead, everybody meekly decides that, yeah, Monopoly sounds good, let’s do it.

And you start setting up the board, and somebody insists on being the car, because reasons. And then somebody else gets the bright idea of putting a $100 in the middle. This person should be shot dead with rabies.

Yes, I know what you’re thinking. The $100 in the middle is for Free Parking. When you can find me an official rulebook that tells you to do that, I’ll take the rabies needle out of your arm.

There is no benefit from Free Parking. It’s just Free Parking. That’s it. This universal house rule should die, and Monopoly should die with it.

It’s not that it’s a terrible game, provided you can get people to stop using the house rules they grew up with. Everybody complains about how long Monopoly takes, but then they add these rules that makes it take longer. The logic is simple:

  1. In Monopoly, the last one standing wins
  2. This means people have to drop out of the game for it to end
  3. When you can get a big wad of cash on Free Parking or by some other unofficial house rule, it tends to keep people in the game who should have dropped out
  4. If people are staying in the game, it takes longer. QED.

You can have your money on Free Parking, or you can have a game that doesn’t take all night and into the next day to finish. You cannot have both.

The most genius thing in recent Monopoly variants is the electronic banker. This might seem like a cheap gimmick, but it isn’t to me. The reason is that without physical pieces of cash, there’s nothing to stuff into the center. If you wanted to follow the Free Parking house rule, you’d have to keep track of it separately, and people tend not to want to bother.

But still, don’t play Monopoly. Like I said, it’s not a terrible game, but there are million better ones.

UAV Basics — Legality

IANAL. I don’t even play one on TV. None of this is legal advice, and it only covers US regulations.

That said, FAA regulations on UAVs are pretty simple. UAVs are basically model aircraft, and the rules are:

  • Below 400 feet
  • Away from populated areas and full sized aircraft
  • Not for commercial use

That last one is what’s giving everyone fits right now. As a private citizen, your options for flying UAVs commercially are limited. There is a process to get either an experimental aircraft certificate, or a wavier certificate. Experimental certificates are only granted for “R&D, market survey and crew training”, while waivers are usually only granted to government agencies. That includes local government agencies, so you could feasibly get a contract to survey land for a local town.

Some people have tried to skirt around things by taking aerial photographs on a hobbyist basis, but then claiming they charge a client for post-processing. I doubt the FAA or courts will agree with this reasoning; they’re really just hoping that they’re too small for the FAA to bother.

Short of government contracts, commercial use of UAVs is limited to selling them for now. The FAA is set to introduce new rules for commercial UAVs in 2015. Mark your calendars.

Underappreciated Perl Modules: File::HomeDir

Problem: your module needs to save a config file. Where should it go?

Obviously, the user’s homedir, but the exact conventions differ between platforms. On Unixy things, it’s usually a dot file. Windows has a more complex layout for User directories, which Microsoft seems to change with every new version.

Instead of guessing, ask File::HomeDir where it should go. UAV::Pilot needed this for the joystick config, so it does something like this:

use File::HomeDir;
use File::Spec;
my $dir = File::HomeDir->my_dist_config( 'UAV-Pilot', {
    create => 1,

my $file = File::Spec->catfile( $dir, 'sdl_joystick.yml' );

File::HomeDir also has functions for my_music, my_pictures, etc., and also for getting the homedir of another user. It should always Do the Right Thing on any platform you throw at it.